BAGEL WORKS...1995 - 1999

...so i would walk into BAGEL WORKS



...wearing nothing but my bath robe



...and get a free breakfast



...the customers were confused

NOVA SCOTIA JR . DAVIS CUP...1976

...our team was affectionately referred to as THE WAEG WALTIC FAGGOTS


...maybe...maybe not...regardless...we sucked our way to victory


...trophies high , penis low



...it was the best of time , it was the smurf of times

FAMILY GATHERING 1969

we stole the general's secret recipe...


pitched a tent in the back yard...


my brother ate the neighbours cat...


and my three flavour pop cycle melted into the sun .

DAWN....APRIL - JULY 1979

i had a lady friend and her name was DAWN...


i walked to her place and she was gone...


ONTARIO , that is...


swimming pools , movie stars .

MID SEVENTIES...I WAS NOT INVOLVED

...my brother stole my mothers's vodka



...then he replaced it with water



...her best friend said it was a good vintage



...my brother nodded .

HALIFAX NATAL DAY CLASS '' A '' , 1985

...i won the halifax natal day tennis tournament...in truro...



...BUT it has been pointed out to me...WHO THE FUCK CARES ???



...as long as you get your pocket pussy and your set of lawn chairs...



...that is all that matters .

MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND...1978

hard rock got her off...



me...soft rock...so we compromised...



and played BOSTON...



my penis steered the spaceship into the vast universe .

a tent , 1967 or so...

chrissi had a tent...



i went inside..



and she was there naked...



then i had a tent as well .

...the black snake on the road...

...on the road , just outside of townseville 

i see a spirit in the form of a snake...

what the tropical forest lacks in blueberries...

it makes up for in evil spirits .  

FEBRUARY 2008...MY FATHER

...my father blew his head off his shoulders...SUPERBOWL SUNDAY .

...i guess he wasn't a STEELERS fan .